As
I
pace
holding
my
cell
phone
in
hand,
the
pitter
patter
of
rain
above
my
head,
heel
to
toe
and
back
again
wearing
the
wooden
floor
to
grain.
I
stare
out
the
window
wishing
I
did
not
have
to
make
this
call,
but
as
the
weeks
of
unrelinquished
dreams
have
kept
my
soul
in
chains
with
only
one
key...
the
truth.
One
man
cannot
hold
his
destiny
within
the
palm
of
his
hand
and
expell
the
contents
of
his
heart...
in
this
instance
the
divinity
of
heaven
has
given
me
only
one
option.
As
I
do
not
recall
pushing
the
numbers
on
the
phone,
the
call
has
been
placed,
and
the
calm
serenity
of
my
mothers
voice
on
the
other
side.
It
seems
we
are
worlds
apart
as
I
need
to
tell
her
so
badly.
My
illness
took
me
for
a
loop
a
few
weeks
ago
and
I
have
to
be
prepared
for
anything
that
may
lay
ahead.
As
the
weight
seems
to
fall
off
at
a
time
when
I
actually
need
it,
I
have
to
tell
her.
As
she
asks
time
and
time
again
if
I
am
okay,
what
is
wrong,
why
do
you
sound
so
sad,
I
break
the
silence
with
"Mom
have
a
seat,
and
first
of
all
I
love
you,
what
I
am
about
to
say
will
not
change
how
I
love
you
or
how
long
I
may
walk
this
earth
as
long
as
I
take
care
of
myself...
I
have
been
diagnosed
with
HIV..."
She
begins
to
cry,
and
I
explain
to
her
and
my
father
as
time
goes
on..
as
days
go
by
that
I
can
live
a
healthy,
happy
life,
and
make
the
best
choices
for
me.
We
find
that
we
have
grown
even
closer,
and
I
love
my
family
ever
so
much,
but
hate
the
fact
I
have
brought
about
a
pain
in
my
parents\'
heart
due
to
my
illness.
I
prey
God
will
bless
them
and
help
them
with
this
as
he
has
helped
me.
