Why
did
the
chicken
cross
the
road?
BARACK
OBAMA:
The
chicken
cross
the
road
because
it
was
time
for
change.
JOHN
MCCAIN:
My
friends,
that
chicken
cross
the
road
because
he
recognized
the
need
to
engage
in
cooperation
and
dialogue
with
all
the
chickens
on
the
other
side
of
the
road.
HILLARY
CLINTON:
When
I
was
First
Lady
I
personally
helped
that
little
chicken
to
cross
the
road.
This
experience
makes
me
uniquely
qualified
to
ensure
right
from
day
one!
that
every
chicken
in
this
country
gets
the
chance
it
deserves
to
cross
the
road
but
then
this
is
really
isn\'t
about
me.
GEORGE
W.
BUSH:
We
don\'t
really
care
why
the
chicken
cross
the
road.
We
just
want
to
know
if
the
chicken
is
on
our
side
of
the
road
or
not.
The
chicken
is
either
against
us
or
for
us.
There
is
no
middle
ground
here.
DICK
CHENEY:
Where\'s
my
gun?
COLIN
POWEL:
Now
to
the
left
of
the
screen
you
can
clearly
see
the
satellite
image
of
the
chicken
crossing
the
road.
BILL
CLINTON:
I
did
not
cross
the
road
with
that
chicken.
What
is
your
definition
of
chicken?
JOHN
KERRY:
Although
I
voted
to
let
the
chicken
cross
the
road,
I
am
now
against
it!
It
was
the
wrong
road
to
cross,
and
I
was
misled
about
the
chicken\'s
intentions.
I
am
not
for
it
now,and
will
remain
against
it.
AL
SHARPTON:
Why
are
the
chickens
white?
We
need
some
black
chickens.
OPRAH:
Well
I
understand
that
the
chicken
is
having
problems
which
is
why
he
wants
to
cross
this
road
so
bad.
So
instead
of
having
the
chicken
learn
from
his
mistakes
and
take
falls,
which
is
part
of
life,
I\'m
going
to
give
this
chicken
a
car
so
that
he
can
just
drive
across
the
road
and
not
live
his
life
like
the
rest
of
the
chickens.
NANCY
GRACE:
That
chicken
corssed
the
road
because
he\'s
guilty!
You
can
see
it
in
his
eyes
on
the
way
he
walks.
PAT
BUCHANAN:
To
steal
a
job
of
a
decent,
hardworking
American.
DR
SEUSS:
Did
the
chicken
cross
the
road?
Did
he
cross
it
with
a
toad?
Yes,
the
chicken
crossed
the
road,
but
why
it
cross
I\'ve
not
been
told.
ERNEST
HEMINGWAY:
To
die
in
the
rain,alone.
JERRY
FALWELL:
Because
the
chicken
was
gay!
Can\'t
you
people
see
the
plain
truth?
That\'s
why
they
call
it
the
\'other
side\'.
Yes
my
friends,
that
chicken
is
gay.
And
if
you
eat
that
chicken,
you
will
become
gay.,
too.
I
say
we
boycott
all
chickens
until
we
sort
out
this
abomination
that
the
liberal
media
whitewashers
with
seemingly
harmless
phrases
like
\'the
other
side\'.
That
chicken
should
not
be
cross
the
road.
It\'s
as
plain
and
as
simple
as
that!
GRANDPA:
In
my
day
we
didn\'t
ask
why
the
chicken
cross
the
road.
Somebody
told
us
the
chicken
crossed
the
road,
and
that
was
good
enough.
BARBARA
WALTERS:
Isn\'tthat
interesting?
In
a
few
moments,
we
will
be
listening
to
the
chicken
tell,
for
the
first
time,
the
heart
warming
story
of
how
it
experinced
a
serious
case
of
molting,
and
went
on
to
accomplish
its
lifelong
dream
of
cross
the
road.
ARISTOTLE:
It
is
the
nature
of
chickens
to
cross
the
road.
JOHN
LENNON:
Imagine
all
the
chickens
in
the
world
crossing
roads
together,
in
peace.
ALBERT
EINSTEIN:
Did
the
chicken
really
cross
the
road
or
did
the
road
move
beneath
the
chicken?
COLONEL
SANDERS:
Did
I
miss
one????
