Sober? Me? How?

By: plusone
Mood: Content
Date: Apr 08, 2013
Music: Wet my whistle

Just realized I havent had a drink this year. And its frigging April already. Sounds like a really bad a April fools day joke.

Now there is something that calls for serious thought. Not too long ago the juice was my fuel. Supplying an endless pool of good times and laughter. A sure way to forget ... that thing.

Even though my blurry vision would tell me the whispers and stares branded me the odd one out I never gave a damn. For a few hours I'd be intoxicated. Invisible. Virus free. Almost human again. Where and when did I learn to live without it?

Never at any time did I give up the bottle. There had been alot of prayers said at the time and the serenity one was never one of them. Last Easter Friday I had an early night and my phone rang at 10pm. It was the gang.

Gang: "Hey man. We heard you was sick in hospital?"
Me: "Yeah for a while. But that was way back last year.."
Gang: " Oh yeh. We remember. Hey dude... sorry we couldnt find time to see you then. You know how busy life can get..."Me: "I know. Lifes' a bitch sometimes."
Gang: " Haha. Nights' still young. Why dont you come over?"

Did give it a thought. Seriously I mean why not? I mean its only like they'l want to see if my eyes had sunk into their sockets or some apply some other obsurd measure of sickness. Treat me like I got cancer and estmate how many more months I got to live. So what anywhere. If they made me feel bad all i'd need to do is switch to a double on the rocks and the good times will flow. Just like the not so good old days. I was sad. I didnt know those people any more. They didnt know me nore the person I had become. I had truely forgiven then for not thinking of me when I was in hospital. For telling the world I was done for. A gonner. Was it time to not only forgive but forget? Start a new chapter... learn to ignore the obvious and reclaim my throne as the life and king of the party?

And what about the new crowd I built up since? Do I discard them. The people who might never know that am "sick. The people who know my status but always seem to need me to remind them of it. I know there is an opened bottle of 12 year old scotch in my drawers. I know no matter what the night became I'd have a drink and still keep my marbles. What began as a little break from drinking has become a lifestyle. From practicing being sober for adherence sakes. To dreading the shock of not being healed enough to battle a pounding hangover. That list is endless. Fact is I have no sorrows to drown. No desire to have some barman i hardly know tell me how he heard about my condition. Looks like I too hardly know the new me. And for someone I just met I kinda like him.



Only Friends can comment.


From: plusone
April 9, 2013, 10:02 am
Thanks for the comments. Honestly who is fooling who and which is the true illusion? Cleaning out the skeletons leaves so much room to fill. And what a wonder is the awesomeness of possibilites to fill the space with. True enlightenment is knowing the value of health. life. our bodies. true friendship. the sent of flowers. Whatever brings happiness. Tech did you say April in a good way? Not in my hemisphere. Were praying for winter to save us from the heat right now.


'Its not the years in your life that count. Its the life in your years'

From: ms83poz
April 9, 2013, 9:49 am

Well done Tech




April 9, 2013, 8:59 am

 Well Welcome my friend to enlightenment ..This disease can have a positive effect and presents with a new way of thinking..It allows us time to re evaluate life and what is really important priorities etc. Do we want to waste it in the emptiness and foolishness of drink .. A substance that has never been known to help even when the pain disperses it returns with a vengeance ...Lets adjust our lives accordingly set some goals dreams and a bucket list.. Appreciate the April spring yellow flowers new lambs jumping new buds appearing on trees ..Life can be  exactly what we want it to be ...Full of wonders or full of rubbish  YOU get to choose !!!

Being sober allows us to see things as they really are not clouded by illusion



April 8, 2013, 9:15 pm

If there is an April fool, you are not it. Good for you for becoming a new and improved you. Thanks for sharing your story.


What if the hokey pokey is really what it's all about?